Post-Retreat Integration Guide

Self-Care Integration

The retreat will have a lasting impact on your unconscious mind, creating ongoing ripples that will likely peak in the first week post-retreat. We’ve listed some recommendations and integration tools below to support you with a smooth transition back to daily life.

Things to Consider:

• Allow yourself quiet time and avoid additional commitments.

• It's crucial to honor and safeguard your experience, refraining from discussing it casually to avoid feeling diminished. Respect confidentiality regarding others' experiences.

• After the retreat, expect a heightened emotional state and potential mood swings, including increased openness, vulnerability, or over-sensitivity. You might also feel "small" or childlike momentarily, which can be perplexing but tends to settle with time. For those concerned, maintaining clear communication with a sexual partner can be beneficial.

• Make no major decisions for a few weeks after the group (e.g., divorce or changing jobs). 

• After an intense period like the retreat, it's common to feel emotionally and physically exhausted, possibly followed by a brief period of feeling flat. Muscular and energetic releasing might cause occasional body movements or twitches as your body resets its postural tone.

• Memories may resurface as flashbacks, body memories, or dreams post-retreat, potentially causing disturbance or confusion. If these experiences overwhelm you, seek help to navigate and understand their content clearly.

Things To Do:

• Write in Your Journal - You do not have to read what you have written. You can close the book and leave it for as long as you wish, forever if you like. Just start writing, don’t worry about grammar, jump subjects mid-sentence, and write whatever you want until the energy has abated and you feel calmer.

• Creative Expression - Engaging in creative expression, whether through art, writing, music, or other forms, serves as a powerful tool to facilitate the integration of the transformative experiences from the men's retreat into your daily life, allowing for deeper reflection and self-expression."

• Meditation - Sitting meditation can help to create a feeling of safety while the feelings or images pass through. Just follow the breath as best you can or use the feeling of the body sitting, touching the cushion or chair, as the anchor. If the images are overpowering when you have your eyes closed, open them and pick a visual focal point, something pleasant, such as a flower or leaf perhaps, and keep the vision softly focused there while breathing slowly.

• Exercise - Walking, running, swimming, or other movement practices help to change the body chemistry towards more positive energies. Often you will not actually want to do this, but doing it can change your feelings, especially anger and depression.

• Eat Well - Prioritizing nourishing, healthy meals plays a vital role in supporting your integration journey, fostering physical well-being, and providing the necessary fuel for emotional and mental processing

• Baths and Showers - Warm baths with oils and other delights are wonderful for comfort and relaxation. Take as many as you want. Cold exposure can also help you regulate your nervous system.

• Time Alone - Time by yourself is essential, at times. Be sensitive to when you need to nourish yourself by stopping the action for a while.

• Time in Nature - Walking in nature, concentrating on trees, plants, and animals creates balance.

• Connect with Friends - Talking to a good friend makes a real difference. In particular, we encourage you to lean on your brothers who’ve shared this experience with you.

• Therapy - Make an appointment with your therapist as a follow-up sometime soon after the group. Call her/him as necessary if memories are disturbing you. Do remember that however intense the memory is, you have already survived the experience; nothing can arise that you have not already lived through.

• Communicate Honestly with Your Partner - Be as clear as possible with your partner at home about your emotional and sexual boundaries asking for support when necessary. Remember that your partner will rely on you to bridge the gap between this emotionally intense experience and your regular life.

• ASK FOR HELP - We must continue breaking the most dangerous rule of men: “If you’re struggling, don’t talk about it.” If you need support of any kind, please ask.

For any assistance or guidance in integrating these profound experiences into your life, feel free to reach out to us (Riley or Stu) directly. We’re here to support your journey beyond the retreat.