How I’m Measuring Growth in 2023
Recently, I had a chat with a buddy who was feeling a bit down, thinking he hadn’t leveled up much in 2023.
I’m sure many of us experience this often, or at least some point on our journey. It can be a timeless riddle: "Have I really grown at all?"
I often compare the journey of personal growth to the nurturing of a vibrant garden. It's a process where, much like tending to plants, the daily growth often unfolds quietly, escaping immediate notice.
Picture a garden: you sow the seeds, water them, and patiently tend to the soil. Each day, the plants undergo tiny, imperceptible changes—tiny sprouts emerge, leaves unfurl, and roots dig deeper. Yet, when you're amidst this daily routine, the growth might seem subtle, even invisible.
Similarly, personal growth involves nurturing oneself, attending to the various aspects of our being—mind, body, spirit, emotions. It's about planting seeds of intention, learning, and self-care. Each day presents opportunities for growth—moments of reflection, small steps taken toward positive habits, or instances where we confront and overcome challenges.
Just as a gardener might not notice the minute changes in a plant from day to day, we too may not immediately recognize our personal growth. It's in the quiet perseverance, the dedication to self-improvement, and the consistent effort that transformation begins to take root.
Much like the garden, where eventual blooms and lush foliage appear as a culmination of daily care and attention, our personal growth manifests in significant shifts, newfound perspectives, and a deeper understanding of ourselves over time, even if the day-to-day changes often go unnoticed.
However, it can become super tough to gauge our progress, especially when we see ourselves still being caught in cycles of unhealthy habits, repetitive ways of being, and emotional responses that create similar life scenarios repeatedly.
But hey, replaying patterns doesn't mean there hasn't been growth this year.
Our growth? It's like a mosaic, interconnected pieces weaving together—emotional growth, spiritual growth, physical health and vitality, deeper relationships, resilient mindset, sexual healing, and more.
In my journey of self-discovery and contemplating how much I’ve grown, I'm diving deep into these three questions:
How can I know if I have grown?
What metrics signal my spiritual evolution?
What are the signs to look for that indicate I'm making some progress on my path?
Here are a few signs of growth I’ve noticed within myself:
Increased resilience during conflicts: I've observed myself becoming less inclined to withdraw when faced with conflicts, particularly in my relationship. While challenges still arise, I’m quicker to find inner calm or share playful humor.
Enhanced emotional depth: I've come to realize how frequently I instinctively shield myself during stressful moments, often leading to withdrawal. Instead of shutting down, I'm practicing a different approach—softening into intense emotions. Sometimes, it involves directing attention to different parts of my body, releasing tension, and reassuring my inner child that a capable adult is present to ensure safety. Moreover, I’m learning to acknowledge and experience multiple emotions simultaneously, like anger and sadness. Often, anger seems dominant, but it’s the underlying sadness that demands acknowledgment.
Heightened awareness of my desires: This year, I’ve recognized my disconnection from personal desires, especially within intimate relationships. Questions like “What do I seek to receive or give in a relationship?” prompted profound introspection. I'm now dedicating time to ponder these questions, allowing them to surface in my consciousness, trusting the insights I receive, and summoning the courage to share my desires to my partner.
Proactive boundary setting: While boundaries aren’t a struggle in many aspects of my life, I’ve noticed instances, particularly within intimate relationships, where my dedication verges on self-sacrifice. Previously, I’d harbor resentment or project blame, acting out of a sense of obligation. Now, I’m starting to actively recognize when this pattern emerges, communicate it constructively, and seek alternatives that respect both my boundaries and my partner's desires.
I will continue to probe deeper into these questions and bring all the lessons into my work.
So, what about you? Do you feel you’ve grown, or is it a different narrative for you? If you’re feeling lost, stuck, or overwhelmed, reach out and let's unravel this together!
Wishing you peace and prosperity as we step into the possibilities of 2024. Cheers to the journey ahead!